DVD Voice

Ah… Cemetery Junction, a British film about a very small town in England where a one Freddie Taylor (played by Christian Cooke) is really trying to do something with his life while balancing friends and seeing his school girlfriend come back into his life. Ricky Gervais also co-stars as well as co-directing with Stephen Merchant.

So he lives in a little dinky town where the main jobs are working in a factory. Everyone works there. To get ahead in life he decides to start working for an insurance company selling life insurance door to door. He has to deal with the tugs of his old friends who want things to remain the same. And on top of this he is slowly realizing how fleeting life is and how people never do get what they want or hope to out of life.

He sees his rich boss and the boss’s daughter (an old school friend) who is now engaged to the top salesman and boss’s favorite. Freddie can see how the boss’s wife is ignored. He can see how long time (30+ years) employees retire with applause and a cut glass fruit bowl.

The movie itself is kind of slow and boring, but if you look closely you’ll see that people who have potential and personality will settle for dead-end lives when taking a little risk and chance on life they can find happiness. Only … can they?

So if you watch this one, ask yourself how important is it to notice the people around you and care about them. How choosing a career or settling in life is like letting your dreams die. You have dreams, why not take some action or chances to make them come true. Or at least get yourself a little closer. And always, no matter what, show gratitude to people.

Things learned from this movie:

1. Um … if your vandalizing a sign don’t just wait for the police to show up.
2. Tattooing your chest may seem like a good idea at the time, but get a second opinion!
3. Small towns hold opportunity too.
4. Employers only hire you because it makes them better off. You have to stick up for yourself to get a fair shake.

Rated R. 95 minutes (1 hour 35 minutes). Profanity – a lot of British profanity. No skin aside from some anatomy cartoons and a tattoo of a naked vampire on a guy’s chest. Some fighting.

Oh my… What to say about Salvage… Well, this British film from 2008 is a mercifully short 78 minutes. There are not a lot of actors that you have to remember who are. That’s pretty much it – sorry.

While this is a low-budget film, and that is really obvious, there is nothing wrong with low budget films. The movie did not at all match the descriptions on the Netflix box. The movie isn’t scary. It makes little sense the whole time. It just isn’t very good.

Beth (Neve McIntosh) is a single mother who has her daughter coming home for Christmas. The daughter walks in on her and this guy having sex. The daughter gets angry and runs off to the neighbors. Beth calls the neighbors and her own daughter nasty names when they tell her to leave and let the daughter cool down at their home. After getting the door slammed in her face, SWAT team police and army units descend upon the town and knock her down. Helicopters fly overhead. A neighbor wanders into the street (he’s bloody and brandishing a cooking knife) and the police shoot him. They tell Beth to get back in her home and stay there. The guy she was sleeping with earlier wants to know why she’s distraught and why they shot the guy. Repeatedly asking her if he had a weapon, to which she kept saying “he wasn’t a terrorist” but finally admitting, yeah, he had a knife.

Strange things happen. People run around screaming and trying to get in their house only to be killed in a pool of blood. If they try to leave soldiers are right there telling them to get back in.

Well, not to ruin it for you if you still want to watch it … I’ll stop there, but that’s pretty much how it goes. They never do logical things, there is no explanations given for anything that happens to these people by the army. The phones and power are turned off. So, do yourself a favor too, turn off the tv and don’t watch this one.

Thanks.

Things learned from this movie:

1. Barricading your doors means it’s ok to leave the sliding glass doors in the back unlocked and free of furniture.
2. If it’s Christmas Eve and your expecting your daughter home, its ok to bring a guy home and sleep with him an hour or so before she’s to arrive.
3. Soldiers hold onto their hand-held radios really hard.
4. Getting a radio in a time of crisis when people are being killed is more important that getting an assault rifle.
5. When you are splattered and covered with blood, washing up means making sure your hands are mostly clean.
6. If monsters or something is outside attacking your community, you are better off going to the other side of the duplex and hiding out there.

Rated Not Rated. 76 minutes (1 hour 16 minutes). Profanity. Nudity – check. Beth is totally nude, but its kinda dark when her daughter surprises her. She then puts on a shirt later and you watch. Gore, some gorey scenes with fake blood if that bothers you.